( does louis have any idea what it's like to text with him. every single text from him feels like a family member or close friend sending you the dreaded "we need to talk." )
[ He'll send his address, conveniently on the 4th floor of the apartments that they start in, so it's probably pretty close. and no, he has no idea how he sounds. clueless. ]
( he's out the door as soon as he can gather a few of his things and get some shoes on. it couldn't have been more than five or ten more minutes before he's found his way to the apartment number at the location louis had provided. he knocks, saying, uselessly, )
[ Louis could smell him before he opened the door. Before he even knocked. He's significantly less curious about why Legosi does this. There's something about it that is nice. When Louis opens the door, Legosi is presented with a Louis different from he's used to.
He's broader and a little taller (though still smaller than Legosi). His tail, is longer, fluffy, and grey. It had happened overnight, too. Literally. Louis had woken up like this. It went so fast that there was no indication.
His tail is swaying, pleased that his friend showed up. Ah, that. He wishes he knew what to do about that. ]
So - this is what the moons can do to you.
[ Don't lean in and smell him. Don't lean in and take in only Legosi's scent. He's fighting the impulse right now. Ugh. ]
( for a moment legosi fidgets with his phone, still in his hand, just in case he had managed to misread the address or the unit number (he triple-checks, verifying it yet again, but still a little nervous at being a big, scarred wolf showing up at a stranger's door...). approaching footsteps can be heard on the other side of the door, and then it opens. legosi is half-way to saying something, asking louis what's up, but then his brain stops. it jams, stuttering, completely broken for a moment.
he drops his phone with a loud clatter to the floor, the fur bristling along the nape of his neck.
logically, he knows it's louis. it also smells like louis, albeit different. but the sudden combination of the horns and the sharpened, predatory features... it causes legosi's heart to hammer in a staccato beat, a gunshot ringing in his torn ear.
but his tail is... wagging? it's louis, he looks like some sort of deer-wolf hybrid, and his tail is wagging. he's happy to see him?? legosi's brain is still locked up, but his own tail begins to join in, unbidden and unavoidable in his friend's presence. )
L - ... Louis-senpai?
( he finally regains control of himself. and, speaking of control of himself, legosi has considerably less -- he leans over and gives his friend an exploratory sniff, eyes wide. ) You're, uh - ... ( his eyes lock onto his face again. ) They turned you into a wolf??
[ Oh god, he wishes his tail would stop wagging. He wishes so much. It's awkward and uncomfortable and he wants to be able to stay cool on his own. But no, the total betrayal of the tail that is now attached to him is an unfiltered view of what he's feeling. And, the addition of seeing Legosi's own seems to spur his even harder.
He wishes for death.
Just a bit. ]
Sort of, I guess.
[ And, he hates what he is about to do, but before Legosi can even enter his apartment, he gets on his toes. He presses his nose into Legosi, as close to his neck as he can reach, and - you bet - he sniffs, taking in his scent.
It's nice. The Sanguis part of his brain seems a little relieved. He holds back a grumble. ]
Alright. You can come in.
[ He lowers, stepping backwards and back inside. ]
( just as it's impossible for louis to stop his tail from wagging, it's impossible for legosi not to notice and to feed off of that energy. his tail turns into an unstoppable force whenever around his friend regardless, but now it's even more turbo, overjoyed for the undeniable and physical proof that louis felt the same. he knows they're friends, sure, but louis is one of the more inscrutable animals he knows, and besides that one Instance on new year's, he's always found it difficult to read how he feels.
and it is "sort of," since he's still got his horns and... well, he's certainly taller and bigger, but he's maybe on the skinnier side for a grey wolf.
he goes still as louis finally gives into the carnivorous, canine instinct — he's still (except for his tail, of course), but he does seem to be vibrating with a confused, excited energy. what can he possibly think about this?? he discovers immediately that his affection and appreciation for his herbivore friends doesn't disappear or diminish if they suddenly transform like this — it's not like he suddenly feels differently for louis — but... it's just so confusing! it's overwhelming, too, feeling his brain trying to understanding a "sort-of wolf."
he enters the apartment almost sheepishly, his head on a swivel to continue to stare unabashedly at his sanguis-afflicted friend. )
What's it like? ( his ear flaps as he asks the question. ) I know your sense of smell isn't usually nearly as strong...
[ Louis, for some reason, doesn't seem to mind being stared at. He hasn't really ever minded any level of attention, but this may be the first time when a carnivore stared at him that he didn't feel that underlying need to escape. Run. Hide. The herbivore instinct he had was not present because he only felt like a predator. He was curious how Legosi did this all the time. It was a lot to take in, and it was why he was finding it better to not leave his place. It was why he asked Legosi to come to him.
One new scent versus every new one he'd find on the way there. He looks up towards his friend. Neck craned as if he hadn't gained the height that he had between last night and today. Interesting. ]
It's a lot. [ To put it simply. ] Even beyond my sense of smell I'm taller, bigger, stronger. [ And - he felt different. This desire to be close to those he cared for. But having Legosi near helped that much, at least. At least it helped a little. It was all a little strange. ]
My clothes don't fit well. I'll have to get something after this. For now [ The biggest sweatpants, the stretchy sweater designed for deer at home ] this works.
It's stupid. [ Stupid? ] Just - there's no logic behind it at all. And [ He opens his mouth to show off his fangs ] these are just weird on me.
( whether one was a herbivore or a carnivore, feral instincts were never easy to live with. but growing up with them and being exposed to them gradually helped dull the impact of it, teaching over time how best to circumvent the worst or most inconvenient of their species' natural predispositions. but to have one suddenly thrust upon your mind after a lifetime of living as something completely different... no wonder louis seemed so odd. not just how he looked or how he smelled, but his his overall mien as well.
should legosi be wary of his friend, as he had learned to be wary of so many carnivores overwhelmed by their predatory instincts? well... he didn't seem overwhelmed yet, but. legosi keeps it in the back of his mind to keep an eye on him.
as louis explains some of the ways he's changed, something occurs to legosi. his eyes go wide, and he turns on his friend with a sense of urgency. ) Louis... If you are like a carnivore now, you have to keep your new strength in mind and be cautious with it. Because, um... I'm sure you know, but a carnivore not being very careful can accidentally injure other animals. We're taught this from a young age, but...You might have to think about it all the time, just to be safe.
( it's why legosi was so cautious and slow in his movements around smaller herbivores (and even smaller carnivores, at times). most animals around here were humans, but he still thinks it applies.
and his clothes... oh, right. he had thought for a moment that this "look" wasn't very "louis-senpai." ) I could lend you some of mine. They might be - a little closer?
( "stupid" is a word for it. something louis would reach for. legosi would probably think it was... ironic? unfortunate? some sort of odd, cosmic challenge? certainly nothing logical, but... there did seem to be some sort of bizarre providence in it.
legosi's eyebrows raise and one of his ears flaps at the sight of the very carnivorous teeth and fangs in louis' mouth. it just seems... wrong. like some sort of bizarro universe. he can't help but give a soft laugh. ) You have more carnivore teeth than I do now.
[ Louis listens to Legosi, because even if he wouldn't constantly take advice from his wolf friend; he understands what it is like to be. He knows that he's felt stronger, he wasn't sure if it was purely because he was wolf-like, or if it was because of the red moon. He was trying to be careful, though. And Legosi's words only emphasized that further.
He simply shakes his head at Legosi's offer. ]
It's fine. I'll go out after this passes to find something.
[ He's not sure if it would be a good idea to wear something that smelled like someone else. His nose was sensitive, and he was holding back the impulse to act possessive over his friend. He's sure his clothing wouldn't help this.
But there was something else that Legosi said that fully took his attention. "More carnivore teeth". What did that even mean. He was going to ask, but instead, he stepped in close again, moving his hands up to either side of Legosi's muzzle and pushing his fingers past the flesh to touch what he thought was Legosi's teeth, as if he was trying to figure out what was different. He knew, better than most what Legosi's teeth felt like. Sorry, Legosi. ]
What do you mean? What did you do to yourself you stupid wolf?
( now he's starting to wonder if or how he would try to prepare for whatever the moon might do to him. was there any way to prepare? if he bought different clothes, how would he even know what to buy? would he suddenly become as small as a small herbivore? grow as a big as an elephant? the fact that all of this is up in the air and up to the whims of a bunch of moons in orbit around this planet is a little overwhelming. for legosi's sanity, he thinks he just has to wait and... be ready to deal with whatever happens when it happens.
legosi hadn't realized that he'd said something to get himself in trouble until he recognized a particular glint in louis' eye. it is one of intense and sudden interest, with an almost accusatory angle. uh-oh. he is starting to realize of course he wouldn't get that joke. who else knows about his teeth being false? yafya, gouhin, haru? was that basically it?
of course his friend would waste no time in trying to figure out what he was talking about in perhaps the most brazen and invasive way possible. legosi doesn't have time to try to step out of the way before his muzzle is grabbed and pried open. he's having deja vu. though the dentures gohin had made him were very convincing, they did not stand up to close scrutiny -- the teeth and gum they were set into were clearly fake and held in place, though it only replaced the sharp incisors and canines in the front. his molars all remain in place. )
Umm... ( he feels really stupid, trying to talk with his mouth being held open like this and all. he figures louis probably sees enough to figure at least part of it out, so he supplies (rather uselessly): ) 'ell... i' theemed 'mportant to do at th' time...
[ Louis fingers move over the fake pieces in Legosi's mouth. After a few moments of closely examining them with his eyes and fingers, he withdraws his fingers and returns his hands to himself. He brings a hand up to tap on the side of his own muzzle. "Important at the time". What was this guy even doing? His own reckless, stupid behaviors drove him to end up like this. He mutilated himself (says the guy who let the wolf before him eat a part of himself) with an end goal in mind. He tilted his head.
What is this nonsense. There's a slight grumble of annoyance in the back of his throat. ]
Why?
[ He's chastising him, of course. As if he has any place to. ]
( louis' hands finally move away from his mouth, and legosi seems to shrink a half-foot, feeling far more uncertain (ashamed? maybe?) of his past actions in front of louis than he had in front of haru. maybe because louis was the one who had always told him not to squander his natural gifts and advantages as a carnivore, and haru was the one who had faced all of those "gifts and advantages" first-hand...
why? a whine emanates from the back of legosi's throat, and he answers, slowly, hesitatingly. ) I... went to meet with Yafya. You know - the Beastar? And he, kind of... threatened me, so... it seemed like the only thing at the time to convince him of my convictions, and, uh...
( his voice becomes very small towards the end, and then it drifts off.
after a moment's delay, he speaks up again. ) Gouhin already criticized me for this before, so I've heard it already.
( even though he's pretty sure he'll get it worse now, since louis has far more reason to be frustrated at him for this particular and very permanent decision he'd made. )
[ Is this guy... serious? Louis considers for a moment that he's not. That he's just stupid and said it because there's something else going on. But then, it's Legosi. He can't imagine the other just lying like that, especially about something like this, and directly to his face. His friend was pretty earnest, to be honest. And as stupid as his choice was, and his intentions were. He made that decision.
But that won't keep Legosi safe from Louis chewing him out for the choices he made. For ridding himself of the gifts he was born with. ]
I'm sure you have. What were you trying to prove? That you're only trustworthy when you're without anything that makes you a wolf. That doesn't prove anything at all, Legosi.
[ And then he asks. ]
Did it actually help? Did it prove anything to him? Or did he use you because now he knows you'll do anything to make a point? [ There's definitely some accusation in his tone. ] It's so stupid of you, Legosi.
( legosi is a stupid wolf. that's true — he hears it often enough, and he has to agree with it. but he knows what he's done in his life that he regrets and what he doesn't. being forced to eat louis' leg so he could gain the strength to defeat riz? he regrets that. he wishes he had been strong enough on his own, and that decision had led him to much anguish, physical and emotional. the lasting ramifications of it were things he was still trying to rid himself of.
but removing his fangs to prove his sincerity to yafya? that, he didn't regret. and whatever louis told him wouldn't change his mind.
because he's a stupid, stubborn wolf.
he seems to bow under the weight of louis' words, but then... towards the end, it has the opposite effect. he stands up straighter — straight, to his fullest height — and looks at his friend with earnestness and conviction in his eyes. the same he had looked at yafya with, when meeting with him in his penthouse. )
He knew about what happened on New Year's Eve. He demanded that I apologize — apologize for being born a wolf, for what I did to you. And I did. Because I am sorry, and I'll never stop being sorry. But I did it to prove that I didn't need my teeth after everything that happened... and so our bodies would be similar enough so that I could punch him without feeling bad about it.
( his heart hammers in his chest, and his nerves all tie up into knots. ) And then I punched the Beastar in the face. Because I had to tell him that what he was doing was wrong.
( and then he deflates, like a balloon that had lost half of its air in the speaking of all of those words. his posture returns to normal, his shoulders rounding and his hands disappearing into his pockets. ) He let me go, so I think it proved something to him.
( maybe if he'd done anything else, he'd be feeding yafya's carrots, just like all the other criminal carnivores he caught. )
[ They're two sides of the same coin, he knows - always pushing and pulling. He sees Legosi seem to gain confidence in his words, despite Louis' own insistence that what he had done was stupid. Should he have a place to judge Legosi for choosing to rip out his own teeth? Probably not. Probably not when he had so freely offered up a part of his own body for the sake of his friend. New Years Eve had changed them. And like Legosi, Louis did not regret it.
When he was young, he was so used to death that at times he had gone so far as to welcome the change and the end. He was raised not to express the way that he was feeling, and it had so carefully helped him bury who he was before Oguma. But seeing Legosi throw himself at Riz, willing to see it to the end like that - it scared him. It was like years of buried feelings came bubbling up and escaped him.
Did he regret it? No. Did he think Legosi should apologize? Absolutely not. Sure, he was forever changed by it, but Louis didn't hate the path he was on as a result. And to think that Legosi was so sorry for it -- ]
You're so stupid. [ The words, words he wanted to say so harshly came out soft and concerned. Damn it -- ] Why are you sorry for what happened?
Do you think you somehow slowed me down? Made me worth pitying? [ His voice regains strength. ] I would have given you more than just my leg, you idiot. You have nothing to be sorry for, especially with me.
[ There's a hint in his tone that says - without words How dare you. How dare Legosi feel sorry for taking what was offered to him so freely and readily. How dare he not allow Louis to just let himself be the livestock he was born and bred to be? Legosi was alive. His curse was broken. Those clawed hands reach up and grip tight to either side of Legosi's face. ]
You punched him? How did he take that? I never thought you'd be the guy to punch the Beastar in the face. He let you go, just like that? What do you think you proved?
( he will never be able to satisfy everyone. it's something he's sensed throughout his life, but he feels it the most acutely when he is with louis. were he perfectly secure in what he was (perhaps even to the detriment of others) like bill, it wouldn't be a problem — but he wasn't, and he never had been. minimizing himself and his presence had been a learned behavior. no one had really called him out on it until louis, and that had suddenly thrown him into confusion. was it wrong to try to so purposefully defer to others, mindful of the obvious advantage he had been given in this world? was he wrong in his reverence of herbivores, a shred of something in himself that was somehow perfectly willing to debase himself for having been born a carnivore?
they would always see these things differently. their eyes had grown up seeing two completely different facets of the world, and they had developed differently, accordingly. it wasn't like legosi would have done anything differently, if the events of new year's had played out again with what he knows now. he wouldn't spit on louis' sacrifice like that.
but... that wasn't the only thing at play here.
his ears turn back — even if louis' voice is oddly gentle, oddly close, the context of the conversation still puts him on edge. half-flinching, as if he were expecting a verbal blow or some sort of argument he wouldn't be able to counter. something else he'd have to wrestle with when a dream of flesh and bone between his teeth woke him up in the dead of night. )
N - No — ( this isn't what he had meant. no — of course he would see it this way, but it had never so much been about louis (as selfish as that was to think). he had given him his leg willingly. there had seemed to be something there that he even felt relieved to lose. and he seemed just as composed, just as confident as he ever had, even with a prosthetic limb. ) It - wasn't that. It ... Do you know how much it impacted my life? How... even if I wanted to go back to school, I couldn't? How there are only certain places I'll be able to live, how - how I wouldn't be able to marry Haru, even if she agreed to? To many animals, a "predatory offender" is all I am and all I ever will be.
( he says it all, and it has the heat and the speed of something true, even though it makes shame burn a path from his heart all the way up his throat. his gaze drops. ) When I say "I'm sorry"... Louis-senpai, I wouldn't change anything that happened. I am grateful... but I am also sorry. I made everything so much more complicated, and now I'm paying for it. The reason why I was helping the Beastar try to track down Melon... is because he said he could wipe that "predatory offender" offense off of my record if I did.
( that was how it started, but now he felt like he wouldn't be able to leave it alone, even if he went back on his promise. melon holds too much importance in legosi's idealized version of the future. he just had to know — would his children be forced to live like that? was he wrong, yet again, in what he wanted, simply because of what he wanted?
he doesn't move when louis reaches up to hold his face still, though he does think it's odd, the way his fingers are clawed now. )
Well... I'm still alive. He let me go, and then he made that offer to me. I'm not sure what part about it it was, if it was me taking out my teeth or me punching him or both... but something must have worked.
[ He was quiet. Waiting. Listening. Allowing Legosi to finish what he had to say about everything. He knows about your history creeping up on you and finding you when you never wanted it to. Legosi's record is criminal and nothing like his own record and history of perpetual victim-hood. He didn't want to be seen that way. He knows how hard he had worked to keep everything about himself so deeply buried. He would have done everything to protect it back then, too. Preserve the image he projected. New Years Even had changed him so dramatically. Inside and out. And still, he maintained appearances - as if he had barely changed. It was what he had to do.
It's weird to him. He releases his hands, his arms falling weakly to his side. He didn't get it. He didn't get the limitations, even with the things he found inconvenient in his own life. Louis had willingly stepped into the shadows when he was with the Shishigumi. And sometimes, he missed being back there.
But, there's a shadow of a doubt in his question. ]
He can really do that, huh? [ But -- he knows how much power the Beastar has.. He knows there will always be whispers and rumors, but he doubts Legosi cares about that in the same way he does. As long as he can make Haru happy. ]
That explains why you were near the Shishigumi last time I saw you.
[ He knows these words needed to be said, although he was surprised it had happened now. ]
Or maybe he just saw that you're worth keeping around. [ Maybe that's coming from personal experience. Just a bit. He liked having Legosi around, regardless of some of the frustration he experiences as a result of their friendship. Maybe Legosi didn't need to do anything other than talk. ]
I still can't believe you did it to yourself. I wonder what that means for you here.
( when you see someone buckle under an explanation (an argument?) like this, it's a pyrrhic victory. legosi doesn't feel a single positive emotion when he sees some of the tension ebb from his friends body, his hands releasing him so his arms could fall to his sides. he feels raw, exposed — a nerve, all too vulnerable to whatever anticipated or unanticipated his verbal deluge might invite. he can never let down any guard with louis; the guy really knew how to needle him in ways he wasn't prepared for. the first and only herbivore to call him out on his carnivorous hypocrisy.
it's legosi's turn to buckle when louis finally replies. the stress of the moment leaves him in a huff of breath, and his shoulders fall at least two or three inches before he settles into his usual slump. he can't help but glance down. ) I... I guess I don't know for sure. But - ( he looks back up now, his eyes oddly fierce, bright with determination. ) I have to trust him... and believe that he can.
( because otherwise... what was the point? )
...Yeah. ( he's silent, considering. in the end, he shakes his head. ) I wasn't expecting to stumble across you in all of this, but... nn, when I think about it... I guess I'm not surprised.
( he smiles a thin-lipped smile. regardless of the differences in where they came from, what they were, and who they were, they were both two denizens of the seedy underbelly of society. regardless of how they might try to avoid it for a time, something would return them later. considering he had spent more time with louis in the back alley market lately than he had really at school, he has to believe something like this is true.
he makes an uncertain sound, rolling his shoulders in a shrug. as a wolf cursed with acute self-awareness of the downsides of being around him, he's just happy those inconveniences end up coming out in the wash. but reprising the whole situation with his teeth sobers him once more, though — his brow furrows in thought, the cogs and gears turning in his head until something clicks in to place. )
( his jaw drops open. ) Oh... the - oh. Oh, no, what do you think is going to happen?!
( will his teeth come back? will he be some other animal, horrifically wearing wolf dentures?? will they not fit and he will be without teeth at all??? how did he not think of this before this point!! )
[ That is fact. Louis and Legosi were always drawn to one another. It was the way they did things. They always happened to find each other whenever something was going on in the other's life. They were like magnets. Sometimes it was convenient. Sometimes it wasn't. Eventually, he would find out what Legosi did to himself. Eventually, he would see and know what had happened with the Beastar.
It was how it always worked. And he was curious what Legosi would eventually find out about him. For all the effort Louis put forward to keep those parts so carefully buried, Legosi found out about the Shishigumi. ]
Well, maybe something else will grow in. Who knows. I guess we'll see, huh?
[ They'll both see. That's what Louis is so clearly saying. ]
( well. at first. but only because legosi hadn't known louis' history. and at this point he probably still doesn't have all the details, though a wolf that spent as much time in the back alley as himself probably had a decent idea of what the number on his foot had meant.
so the better way to have said that probably would have included "until the least-expected places became the most-expected places."
but he was happy about this odd, cosmic magnetism. it's plain to see -- his tail hadn't stopped wagging since louis had arrived, perhaps even more fueled into the positive energy by louis' own tail's action. so bizarre... legosi didn't even really appreciate being around his own kind all that much, but he's far more excited to be around a half-wolf hybrid louis than he probably had been for wolves up until this point.
regardless, legosi slowly drags his hands down his face, groaning at louis' suggestion. )Ugh... What's worse, a wolf with fake teeth or a wolf with teeth that aren't even a wolf's?( his hands drop, and he shakes his head, defeated.
though he does squint at his friend. ) Mm... Probably just about as weird as a deer with wolf teeth, though.
[ It's weird, Louis notes. How easy it is for him to be so delighted to be around his friend. For all that he tried to keep his face and body calm every day, the tail he had right now was betraying him. Every moment, every second that Legosi was in his bubble or he was in Legosi's it would wag. Delighted. He wished he could will lit to stop. Make it stop. It was so easy for Legosi understand how he felt now. It was weird, it was nice to not have to say anything or do anything really.
Just stand there, enjoy him, and the tail wagging. The speed progressively increasing. But then -- the mental image strikes. The image of Legosi's mouth now filled with teeth more like his on any other day and the tail slows and he raises a brow. ]
A wolf with teeth that aren't his. A wolf with herbivore teeth.
[ What. What. He opens his mouth a little, showing off the fangs. ]
It's not much better than this. I mean, this is kinda freaky, isn't it?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
un: legosi
Oh
The changes?
Yes
Um... sure, okay
( ??? )
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I have something I want to show you, then. Related to that.
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Okay
So should I come meet you, or...?
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[ He'll send his address, conveniently on the 4th floor of the apartments that they start in, so it's probably pretty close. and no, he has no idea how he sounds. clueless. ]
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( he's out the door as soon as he can gather a few of his things and get some shoes on. it couldn't have been more than five or ten more minutes before he's found his way to the apartment number at the location louis had provided. he knocks, saying, uselessly, )
Louis-senpai? It's me...
( of course it is... dummy... )
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He's broader and a little taller (though still smaller than Legosi). His tail, is longer, fluffy, and grey. It had happened overnight, too. Literally. Louis had woken up like this. It went so fast that there was no indication.
His tail is swaying, pleased that his friend showed up. Ah, that. He wishes he knew what to do about that. ]
So - this is what the moons can do to you.
[ Don't lean in and smell him. Don't lean in and take in only Legosi's scent. He's fighting the impulse right now. Ugh. ]
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he drops his phone with a loud clatter to the floor, the fur bristling along the nape of his neck.
logically, he knows it's louis. it also smells like louis, albeit different. but the sudden combination of the horns and the sharpened, predatory features... it causes legosi's heart to hammer in a staccato beat, a gunshot ringing in his torn ear.
but his tail is... wagging? it's louis, he looks like some sort of deer-wolf hybrid, and his tail is wagging. he's happy to see him?? legosi's brain is still locked up, but his own tail begins to join in, unbidden and unavoidable in his friend's presence. )
L - ... Louis-senpai?
( he finally regains control of himself. and, speaking of control of himself, legosi has considerably less -- he leans over and gives his friend an exploratory sniff, eyes wide. ) You're, uh - ... ( his eyes lock onto his face again. ) They turned you into a wolf??
( well, wolfish, but still. )
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He wishes for death.
Just a bit. ]
Sort of, I guess.
[ And, he hates what he is about to do, but before Legosi can even enter his apartment, he gets on his toes. He presses his nose into Legosi, as close to his neck as he can reach, and - you bet - he sniffs, taking in his scent.
It's nice. The Sanguis part of his brain seems a little relieved. He holds back a grumble. ]
Alright. You can come in.
[ He lowers, stepping backwards and back inside. ]
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and it is "sort of," since he's still got his horns and... well, he's certainly taller and bigger, but he's maybe on the skinnier side for a grey wolf.
he goes still as louis finally gives into the carnivorous, canine instinct — he's still (except for his tail, of course), but he does seem to be vibrating with a confused, excited energy. what can he possibly think about this?? he discovers immediately that his affection and appreciation for his herbivore friends doesn't disappear or diminish if they suddenly transform like this — it's not like he suddenly feels differently for louis — but... it's just so confusing! it's overwhelming, too, feeling his brain trying to understanding a "sort-of wolf."
he enters the apartment almost sheepishly, his head on a swivel to continue to stare unabashedly at his sanguis-afflicted friend. )
What's it like? ( his ear flaps as he asks the question. ) I know your sense of smell isn't usually nearly as strong...
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One new scent versus every new one he'd find on the way there. He looks up towards his friend. Neck craned as if he hadn't gained the height that he had between last night and today. Interesting. ]
It's a lot. [ To put it simply. ] Even beyond my sense of smell I'm taller, bigger, stronger. [ And - he felt different. This desire to be close to those he cared for. But having Legosi near helped that much, at least. At least it helped a little. It was all a little strange. ]
My clothes don't fit well. I'll have to get something after this. For now [ The biggest sweatpants, the stretchy sweater designed for deer at home ] this works.
It's stupid. [ Stupid? ] Just - there's no logic behind it at all. And [ He opens his mouth to show off his fangs ] these are just weird on me.
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should legosi be wary of his friend, as he had learned to be wary of so many carnivores overwhelmed by their predatory instincts? well... he didn't seem overwhelmed yet, but. legosi keeps it in the back of his mind to keep an eye on him.
as louis explains some of the ways he's changed, something occurs to legosi. his eyes go wide, and he turns on his friend with a sense of urgency. ) Louis... If you are like a carnivore now, you have to keep your new strength in mind and be cautious with it. Because, um... I'm sure you know, but a carnivore not being very careful can accidentally injure other animals. We're taught this from a young age, but...You might have to think about it all the time, just to be safe.
( it's why legosi was so cautious and slow in his movements around smaller herbivores (and even smaller carnivores, at times). most animals around here were humans, but he still thinks it applies.
and his clothes... oh, right. he had thought for a moment that this "look" wasn't very "louis-senpai." ) I could lend you some of mine. They might be - a little closer?
( "stupid" is a word for it. something louis would reach for. legosi would probably think it was... ironic? unfortunate? some sort of odd, cosmic challenge? certainly nothing logical, but... there did seem to be some sort of bizarre providence in it.
legosi's eyebrows raise and one of his ears flaps at the sight of the very carnivorous teeth and fangs in louis' mouth. it just seems... wrong. like some sort of bizarro universe. he can't help but give a soft laugh. ) You have more carnivore teeth than I do now.
( oh wait did he even tell louis about that - )
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He simply shakes his head at Legosi's offer. ]
It's fine. I'll go out after this passes to find something.
[ He's not sure if it would be a good idea to wear something that smelled like someone else. His nose was sensitive, and he was holding back the impulse to act possessive over his friend. He's sure his clothing wouldn't help this.
But there was something else that Legosi said that fully took his attention. "More carnivore teeth". What did that even mean. He was going to ask, but instead, he stepped in close again, moving his hands up to either side of Legosi's muzzle and pushing his fingers past the flesh to touch what he thought was Legosi's teeth, as if he was trying to figure out what was different. He knew, better than most what Legosi's teeth felt like. Sorry, Legosi. ]
What do you mean? What did you do to yourself you stupid wolf?
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( now he's starting to wonder if or how he would try to prepare for whatever the moon might do to him. was there any way to prepare? if he bought different clothes, how would he even know what to buy? would he suddenly become as small as a small herbivore? grow as a big as an elephant? the fact that all of this is up in the air and up to the whims of a bunch of moons in orbit around this planet is a little overwhelming. for legosi's sanity, he thinks he just has to wait and... be ready to deal with whatever happens when it happens.
legosi hadn't realized that he'd said something to get himself in trouble until he recognized a particular glint in louis' eye. it is one of intense and sudden interest, with an almost accusatory angle. uh-oh. he is starting to realize of course he wouldn't get that joke. who else knows about his teeth being false? yafya, gouhin, haru? was that basically it?
of course his friend would waste no time in trying to figure out what he was talking about in perhaps the most brazen and invasive way possible. legosi doesn't have time to try to step out of the way before his muzzle is grabbed and pried open. he's having deja vu. though the dentures gohin had made him were very convincing, they did not stand up to close scrutiny -- the teeth and gum they were set into were clearly fake and held in place, though it only replaced the sharp incisors and canines in the front. his molars all remain in place. )
Umm... ( he feels really stupid, trying to talk with his mouth being held open like this and all. he figures louis probably sees enough to figure at least part of it out, so he supplies (rather uselessly): ) 'ell... i' theemed 'mportant to do at th' time...
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What is this nonsense. There's a slight grumble of annoyance in the back of his throat. ]
Why?
[ He's chastising him, of course. As if he has any place to. ]
Why would you do this to yourself?
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why? a whine emanates from the back of legosi's throat, and he answers, slowly, hesitatingly. ) I... went to meet with Yafya. You know - the Beastar? And he, kind of... threatened me, so... it seemed like the only thing at the time to convince him of my convictions, and, uh...
( his voice becomes very small towards the end, and then it drifts off.
after a moment's delay, he speaks up again. ) Gouhin already criticized me for this before, so I've heard it already.
( even though he's pretty sure he'll get it worse now, since louis has far more reason to be frustrated at him for this particular and very permanent decision he'd made. )
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But that won't keep Legosi safe from Louis chewing him out for the choices he made. For ridding himself of the gifts he was born with. ]
I'm sure you have. What were you trying to prove? That you're only trustworthy when you're without anything that makes you a wolf. That doesn't prove anything at all, Legosi.
[ And then he asks. ]
Did it actually help? Did it prove anything to him? Or did he use you because now he knows you'll do anything to make a point? [ There's definitely some accusation in his tone. ] It's so stupid of you, Legosi.
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but removing his fangs to prove his sincerity to yafya? that, he didn't regret. and whatever louis told him wouldn't change his mind.
because he's a stupid, stubborn wolf.
he seems to bow under the weight of louis' words, but then... towards the end, it has the opposite effect. he stands up straighter — straight, to his fullest height — and looks at his friend with earnestness and conviction in his eyes. the same he had looked at yafya with, when meeting with him in his penthouse. )
He knew about what happened on New Year's Eve. He demanded that I apologize — apologize for being born a wolf, for what I did to you. And I did. Because I am sorry, and I'll never stop being sorry. But I did it to prove that I didn't need my teeth after everything that happened... and so our bodies would be similar enough so that I could punch him without feeling bad about it.
( his heart hammers in his chest, and his nerves all tie up into knots. ) And then I punched the Beastar in the face. Because I had to tell him that what he was doing was wrong.
( and then he deflates, like a balloon that had lost half of its air in the speaking of all of those words. his posture returns to normal, his shoulders rounding and his hands disappearing into his pockets. ) He let me go, so I think it proved something to him.
( maybe if he'd done anything else, he'd be feeding yafya's carrots, just like all the other criminal carnivores he caught. )
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When he was young, he was so used to death that at times he had gone so far as to welcome the change and the end. He was raised not to express the way that he was feeling, and it had so carefully helped him bury who he was before Oguma. But seeing Legosi throw himself at Riz, willing to see it to the end like that - it scared him. It was like years of buried feelings came bubbling up and escaped him.
Did he regret it? No. Did he think Legosi should apologize? Absolutely not. Sure, he was forever changed by it, but Louis didn't hate the path he was on as a result. And to think that Legosi was so sorry for it -- ]
You're so stupid. [ The words, words he wanted to say so harshly came out soft and concerned. Damn it -- ] Why are you sorry for what happened?
Do you think you somehow slowed me down? Made me worth pitying? [ His voice regains strength. ] I would have given you more than just my leg, you idiot. You have nothing to be sorry for, especially with me.
[ There's a hint in his tone that says - without words How dare you. How dare Legosi feel sorry for taking what was offered to him so freely and readily. How dare he not allow Louis to just let himself be the livestock he was born and bred to be? Legosi was alive. His curse was broken. Those clawed hands reach up and grip tight to either side of Legosi's face. ]
You punched him? How did he take that? I never thought you'd be the guy to punch the Beastar in the face. He let you go, just like that? What do you think you proved?
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they would always see these things differently. their eyes had grown up seeing two completely different facets of the world, and they had developed differently, accordingly. it wasn't like legosi would have done anything differently, if the events of new year's had played out again with what he knows now. he wouldn't spit on louis' sacrifice like that.
but... that wasn't the only thing at play here.
his ears turn back — even if louis' voice is oddly gentle, oddly close, the context of the conversation still puts him on edge. half-flinching, as if he were expecting a verbal blow or some sort of argument he wouldn't be able to counter. something else he'd have to wrestle with when a dream of flesh and bone between his teeth woke him up in the dead of night. )
N - No — ( this isn't what he had meant. no — of course he would see it this way, but it had never so much been about louis (as selfish as that was to think). he had given him his leg willingly. there had seemed to be something there that he even felt relieved to lose. and he seemed just as composed, just as confident as he ever had, even with a prosthetic limb. ) It - wasn't that. It ... Do you know how much it impacted my life? How... even if I wanted to go back to school, I couldn't? How there are only certain places I'll be able to live, how - how I wouldn't be able to marry Haru, even if she agreed to? To many animals, a "predatory offender" is all I am and all I ever will be.
( he says it all, and it has the heat and the speed of something true, even though it makes shame burn a path from his heart all the way up his throat. his gaze drops. ) When I say "I'm sorry"... Louis-senpai, I wouldn't change anything that happened. I am grateful... but I am also sorry. I made everything so much more complicated, and now I'm paying for it. The reason why I was helping the Beastar try to track down Melon... is because he said he could wipe that "predatory offender" offense off of my record if I did.
( that was how it started, but now he felt like he wouldn't be able to leave it alone, even if he went back on his promise. melon holds too much importance in legosi's idealized version of the future. he just had to know — would his children be forced to live like that? was he wrong, yet again, in what he wanted, simply because of what he wanted?
he doesn't move when louis reaches up to hold his face still, though he does think it's odd, the way his fingers are clawed now. )
Well... I'm still alive. He let me go, and then he made that offer to me. I'm not sure what part about it it was, if it was me taking out my teeth or me punching him or both... but something must have worked.
( yafya was an odd guy. but so was legosi. )
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It's weird to him. He releases his hands, his arms falling weakly to his side. He didn't get it. He didn't get the limitations, even with the things he found inconvenient in his own life. Louis had willingly stepped into the shadows when he was with the Shishigumi. And sometimes, he missed being back there.
But, there's a shadow of a doubt in his question. ]
He can really do that, huh? [ But -- he knows how much power the Beastar has.. He knows there will always be whispers and rumors, but he doubts Legosi cares about that in the same way he does. As long as he can make Haru happy. ]
That explains why you were near the Shishigumi last time I saw you.
[ He knows these words needed to be said, although he was surprised it had happened now. ]
Or maybe he just saw that you're worth keeping around. [ Maybe that's coming from personal experience. Just a bit. He liked having Legosi around, regardless of some of the frustration he experiences as a result of their friendship. Maybe Legosi didn't need to do anything other than talk. ]
I still can't believe you did it to yourself. I wonder what that means for you here.
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it's legosi's turn to buckle when louis finally replies. the stress of the moment leaves him in a huff of breath, and his shoulders fall at least two or three inches before he settles into his usual slump. he can't help but glance down. ) I... I guess I don't know for sure. But - ( he looks back up now, his eyes oddly fierce, bright with determination. ) I have to trust him... and believe that he can.
( because otherwise... what was the point? )
...Yeah. ( he's silent, considering. in the end, he shakes his head. ) I wasn't expecting to stumble across you in all of this, but... nn, when I think about it... I guess I'm not surprised.
( he smiles a thin-lipped smile. regardless of the differences in where they came from, what they were, and who they were, they were both two denizens of the seedy underbelly of society. regardless of how they might try to avoid it for a time, something would return them later. considering he had spent more time with louis in the back alley market lately than he had really at school, he has to believe something like this is true.
he makes an uncertain sound, rolling his shoulders in a shrug. as a wolf cursed with acute self-awareness of the downsides of being around him, he's just happy those inconveniences end up coming out in the wash. but reprising the whole situation with his teeth sobers him once more, though — his brow furrows in thought, the cogs and gears turning in his head until something clicks in to place. )
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( will his teeth come back? will he be some other animal, horrifically wearing wolf dentures?? will they not fit and he will be without teeth at all??? how did he not think of this before this point!! )
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[ That is fact. Louis and Legosi were always drawn to one another. It was the way they did things. They always happened to find each other whenever something was going on in the other's life. They were like magnets. Sometimes it was convenient. Sometimes it wasn't. Eventually, he would find out what Legosi did to himself. Eventually, he would see and know what had happened with the Beastar.
It was how it always worked. And he was curious what Legosi would eventually find out about him. For all the effort Louis put forward to keep those parts so carefully buried, Legosi found out about the Shishigumi. ]
Well, maybe something else will grow in. Who knows. I guess we'll see, huh?
[ They'll both see. That's what Louis is so clearly saying. ]
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( well. at first. but only because legosi hadn't known louis' history. and at this point he probably still doesn't have all the details, though a wolf that spent as much time in the back alley as himself probably had a decent idea of what the number on his foot had meant.
so the better way to have said that probably would have included "until the least-expected places became the most-expected places."
but he was happy about this odd, cosmic magnetism. it's plain to see -- his tail hadn't stopped wagging since louis had arrived, perhaps even more fueled into the positive energy by louis' own tail's action. so bizarre... legosi didn't even really appreciate being around his own kind all that much, but he's far more excited to be around a half-wolf hybrid louis than he probably had been for wolves up until this point.
regardless, legosi slowly drags his hands down his face, groaning at louis' suggestion. ) Ugh... What's worse, a wolf with fake teeth or a wolf with teeth that aren't even a wolf's? ( his hands drop, and he shakes his head, defeated.
though he does squint at his friend. ) Mm... Probably just about as weird as a deer with wolf teeth, though.
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Just stand there, enjoy him, and the tail wagging. The speed progressively increasing. But then -- the mental image strikes. The image of Legosi's mouth now filled with teeth more like his on any other day and the tail slows and he raises a brow. ]
A wolf with teeth that aren't his. A wolf with herbivore teeth.
[ What. What. He opens his mouth a little, showing off the fangs. ]
It's not much better than this. I mean, this is kinda freaky, isn't it?
[ "Freaky". ]
I don't hate it, though.
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yes i think this is coming to a close~ c:
ok!